War.

It's like I'm in a war, and I've been taken hostage by the opposer. And although I feel somewhat safe, because I know that the opposer is strong, and won't let anything bad happen to me. I also know that the only reason they have me, is to piss off all the other guys.

So weirdly enough, I'm insecurely, secure.

It would ruin everything to become more. Because now I expect the "personality" lines. Whatever, right? It doesn't matter what friends think of me. Or hell even what they think of me. There's no obligation, no ties, they could leave at any second and not look back without giving an explination. And I would just have to smile and take it.

I could do the same thing I suppose. But we all know that's not going to happen.

There's an openess when you don't have ties. Advice on different people and different situations that you wouldn't even be privy to.

Mom says:
"Once they get what they want, you'll never see them again, and if they think they can get it more than once, then they'll do that until they're just...'done' I've been where you are before."